Frustration.

Jerrica here. Checking in. Still trying and getting more frustrated every month. It’s hard to be patient when it was so easy the first two times. I’m anxious to become pregnant and see if everything works out correctly. If it doesn’t, I’m anxious to go about finally getting real answers. I’m frustrated and anxious and I want to skip forward to having a happy, healthy baby here at home with us. Can I skip the pregnancy and go right to that?

Sorry it’s not much of a post today; I can’t seem to find the right words to say. Hopefully we’ll have a happier post here soon.

An Update on Our Journey

Since the last time I posted, Austin and I have been to the doctor at UNMC. She’s amazing and I’m so happy we got to meet with someone who has also been through this. She understood our trepidation and why we want answers so badly. She pushed for blood work to be done (insurance and most doctors don’t count miscarriage as a “problem” until you’ve had three). Everything was normal. Hormones were where they should be, no diabetes or thyroid issues. Our other option was to do an HSG test. In this, they put ink into your uterus and take x-rays to see if there’s any blockage, scarring, or other abnormalities. We voted against doing this step quite yet for a couple reasons: 1. It’s $2000 out of pocket and 2. it might not show us anything.

So here we are today. We’ve started trying again. If things don’t work out this time, we’ll look into further testing and the HSG. I hope and pray that we won’t have to. I have a good feeling about this one.

-Jerrica

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is our first doctors appointment since our last loss. I’m terrified to finally start getting some answers (hopefully). The what if’s have been killing me. What if..it’s a long, hard process to fix? What if..it’s a super easy, couple shots throughout the pregnancy fix? What if..it’s just not in our cards? I’m terrified. But I need to know. We need to know some answers. Who knows? Let’s figure some shit out.

Claire Holt

https://www.buzzfeed.com/jennaguillaume/claire-holt-opens-up-about-miscarriage?utm_term=.ghdOV3VpYK#.ghdOV3VpYK

Earlier today, actress Claire Holt went on Instagram to tell the world about her recent miscarriage and D&C. It’s never easy to read or discuss. But thank you, Claire, for being honest and putting a celebrity’s name to our sad club. We’re all thinking of you and hoping for your life to be back to “normal” soon. You’ll have days where everything feels like it did pre-pregnancy and you’ll be happy for a little while. But don’t let it hold you back when you’re happy and immediately feel guilty for it. It’s going to take time. I’m personally going on 9 months since our first and 5 months since our second. Every day something makes me want to cry thinking of the babies we should have with us now. You’re not alone.